Marriage is Not Antiquated

Marriage institution is sacred, solid and considered one of the oldest institutions in the world (Scott, 2007). Generally, a number of people consider marriage as an antiquated institution because of the demands it comes with, such as; commitments, sacrifices and responsibilities, which many people are not able to offer. People have taken the formal declaration of love and personal commitment to each other lightly and not something important anymore. Many couples argue that since they love each other, there is no need for marriage, as long as they are happy and their children have two loving parents, there is no need for the piece of paper or the ring.  The majority of people though, considers marriage institution as new and special every single day and can never be outdated as it offers support and a sense of affiliation to the parties involved. Marriage brings forth security, respect from the community and most importantly children, who form the future generation. Bringing up of children, according to anthropologist’s calls for two caretakers, a father and a mother since they require more caring and more time (Monkeyshines on health science, 2002). My focus is on the normal lifestyle to marriage between a man and a woman and not the other option lifestyles to marriage such as; gay couples, communal living or lifelong singlehood. This essay argues that marriage is not an antiquated institution; it highlights the various myths associated with marriage, the functions of marriage and changes that have occurred in marriage over time.

 

To start with, marriage has been associated with many misconceptions in different countries and communities, which have increased the idea of being antiquated in peoples’ minds after getting in the institution, and realizing what they expected is not what is they find. People have the ideas that marriage fixes and solves everything, others think in marriage there is always happiness, that after marriage, life is complete and they feel that they have made it in life at last. Other myths include the idea that in marriage there is no longer having fun but it is a time to be serious and settle down, others say that marriage is a lifetime jail sentence and once you get there you are locked in bondage the rest of your life. Well, every marriage is different because people are unique in various characteristics and therefore having expectations while one is entering the institution of marriage will always lead to disappointments.

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Secondly, people must be able to understand the importance of the institution of marriage and the role it plays in the lives of every individual in the world. Marriage serves various groups; the children, the extended family and the couple itself. To the couple’s, marriage gives them a guarantee of loyalty, for better or worse, there is no fear of being alone for both the man and the woman thus no depression. The couple gives each other strength, encouragement and stability to move on with life; marriage also offers financial benefits, as there is tax breaks involved to the couple since they are treated as one in the institution.  Being a legal commitment, marriage ensures security for children, both financial and personal security. The children grow in stable families where they experience the love and bond of their parents, this moulds them to grow in love and offering support to each other and experience no problems building their personal families in future. Children from stable families make friends more easily, relate well with all kinds of people and do not have emotional and development issues. From marriage, all the parties involved learn to sacrifice, defend each other, respect one another and above all love each other unconditionally. It is from marriage where peace of a community or nation starts as it gives children a good foundation for creating relationships with people (Bruce, Erica, 2011).

 

Besides marriage having various myths, the institution has over the years undergone changes depending on the culture and county involved but these does not mean that marriage is outdated in any way. During the early ages, marriage was arranged between a man and a woman, unlike today where love is what joins a man and a woman. The early families believed that the family wealth such as land was more important than being in love and would join their son or daughter with someone close or a family friend. The arrangement was in order to retain possession of their wealth as a family; the issue of dating did not exist, as they believed love would grow eventually as the couple continued to live together. The fact that marriage was arranged did not erase the main function of marriage that is to bring families together, bare and raise children and create some sense of belonging and identification with specific people. In the present age, marriage is dependent on love, the couples date and later declares their undying love for each other in front of people, this entitles them to a certificate or a paper showing their agreement to stay together, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. Around the world, marriage has changed as both men and women are waiting longer until early 30s instead of the early 20s, and late teenage years for them to get married (Scott, 2007). This has been associated with the need to be stable and own something for oneself to sustain the family in later years; women have been able to school and work in the corporate world. Having women work, as men do has made marriage to be more fun, something to look forward to as the cost of living is cut down, and expenses are shared between the man and his wife. These changes are clear evidence that marriage is revolving and becoming new every day. Others are treating marriage as contracts where the couples sign an agreement to stay together for a couple of years say ten,  then they terminate the marriage or may decide to renew the contract if it is bringing forth something valuable. It is more of a partnership now than a companionship as every party is expected to deliver something. In the past, marriage was mainly for children, for the family to have descendants and people who could inherit their wealth once they died, having many children used to mean wealth for that family as the children were seen as security to the parents in their old age. In the present age, women do not want to bear children, there has been an increase in the use of birth controls and therefore getting married is the last priority.

In conclusion, marriage may be antiquated with time but it should not as it plays vast role in people’s lives. Most parents today prefer singlehood, divorce cases have been increasing over time, as people nowadays do not need someone to depend on, and they have many things unlike our grandparents who had nothing, as times were rough and had to depend on each other to survive (Scott, 2007). From the reasons given of the importance of marriage, there can never be any other institution replacing marriage and therefore to maintain the position that marriage has in society, counselors need to teach people on the importance of formalizing their unions, religiously, economically and socially.

Reference

 

Bruce, Erica (2011). Olene Walker pp 1-3 Retrieved from:   http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ell/resultsadvanced?sid=1d37f570-798c-4d50-8760- f92b11794149%40sessionmgr4002&vid=2&hid=4214&bquery=marriage&bdata=JnR5c     GU9MSZzaXRlPWVsbC1saXZl

Monkeyshines on health science, (2002). Marriage  pp.15-19. Retrieved from:  http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ell/resultsadvanced?sid=1d37f570-798c-4d50-8760-    f92b11794149%40sessionmgr4002&vid=2&hid=4214&bquery=marriage&bdata=JnR5c     GU9MSZzaXRlPWVsbC1saXZl

Scott, E. S. (2007). A World Without Marriage. Family Law Quarterly, 537-566

 

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